Think of flirting like playing. What’s the difference between “play” wrestling and “real” wrestling? And how do you know the difference when it’s happening… when your friend runs up and pushes you down, then jumps on you and tries to pin you?
The answer is you just know. It’s obvious to humans (and other animals, by the way) when someone is “playing” and when they’re serious. Flirting is similar.
If you start talking to a woman and say “Hi, you’re very pretty. You probably have a boyfriend, right?” in a normal tone of voice, you’re NOT flirting. On the other hand, if you say “Hi, I realize that you’re probably shy because you get no attention from men… so I thought I’d come over here and pay attention to you…” it’s OBVIOUS that you’re not being serious.
By the way, flirting is not simply telling jokes, or trying to be “cute”. One of the concepts that you should know is called “Cocky & Funny.”
It’s so funny to me how some guys write in because they “can’t see themselves being Cocky & Funny around women”… because they don’t want to come across as “jerks”.
This really cracks me up… because it’s obvious to me that these guys just don’t get it. So let me explain this whole thing a different way…
If you know how to communicate the right way, women will respond to you right from the beginning with a high level of sexual interest and attraction
When you know how to incorporate flirting in a Cocky & Funny way, which is really a form of “adult verbal play”, you tune in to a certain frequency in a woman’s mind, and cause her to go into a very special kind of emotional state.
One of the keys to effective flirting is to “get it”. In other words, you have to actually get out there and practice so you get a “feel” for how it works. I think a lot of guys give up when they try a cute line or technique and a woman responds by either directly saying or giving that look that says “You’re a loser.”
Instead of just realizing that they need more practice or that the woman might have just been in a bad mood or even one of those horrible “I don’t have a sense of humor” cases, they take it personally and decide to just have it mean that they’re a failure. But take my word for it… once you learn how to flirt effectively and communicate in the language of “adult play” you will simply not believe how women will respond to you.
Here are examples of some of one of my favorite topics to “riff on” when flirting… the topic of getting married and us being in a relationship… and I’ll give it to you in the form of a sample dialogue. Keep in mind, I might have a conversation like this one with a woman that I just met five minutes earlier…
OK, let’s say I’m talking to a girl and she starts asking me what I do for a living.I might say “What, you don’t have a job? And you’re already trying to figure out if I can support you?”.
Cocky & Funny is simply a powerful, ultra- concentrated way of flirting and creating sexual tension with a specific kind of humor
- Her: “I have a good job, and I make good money”
- Me: “Nice. I like that in a woman. Want to get married? We could leave for Vegas right now and be married in about 4 or 5 hours. I need a woman with money.”